buhle











 

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mazurjessicapjqp says:

Buhle,

The quotes you picked for your introduction were really powerful, I liked them a lot. Your intro definitely has me hooked in but some of the sentences are choppy so I would say have someone read it outloud to you so that you can smooth some of that out. Other than that though, the intro did it’s job and hoooked me in!



mazurjessicapjqp says:

Buhle,

The lit review isn’t bad. You have a lot of really good information but it’s choppy like the intro. I also get kind of confused in some of the sentences. Also a suggestion for this sentence:

In which the town obtained revenue from, it limited the government sources of revenue.
^Try not to use the same word twice in the one sentence.

Your methods section was good too. Some questions allowed room for the participant to answer more and some were just a yes or no. I think that was a good amount of questions. Less might have been quicker and less time consuming but since you only used 5 participants in the study I think you’ll be able to obtain adequate information from them on their thoughts of xenophobia



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